“Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, Collected Poems and Translations
2015. So much good and so much bad encapsulated in this past year. It has left me feeling cloaked in sadness and weary with the weight of the world, but it has also given me some of the best days of my life so far, so many adventures and beautiful memories. We laughed and danced and cried together. And I continue to remind myself of how fortunate I am, to have lived these memories, to have the people that I love around me, to continue to explore and learn about the world.
2015. It seemed the year of extremes for me. I have felt more than I thought I could and wrung my heart out to dry. Resentment ruled a significant fraction of my perspective on situations; I allowed certain relationships, and the thoughts and actions associated with them, to have a profound effect on me, forgetting that this is something I can control. What’s dangerous about all of this, I realize, is that I allowed myself to carry sadness, to carry my own heartbreak, but I did nothing to ease the heartbreak of others. I became focused inward and did not do enough to help this world or the people around me.
2016. In this regard, I have a few New Year’s Resolutions; ones that I hope I can work steadily towards, a step at a time. The problem with “Resolutions for Myself” is that I’m often impatient with my progress; I mess up. So. Often. I get frustrated, I give in. And maybe I hold a little too closely to heartbreak, believing that it is human nature to hold onto heartbreak. I give in to the seduction of inadequacy. And that is selfish, in itself. So I’m working on this, within myself, and it’s an inward battle that needs to be addressed. Of course, I’d like to resist it, as I’d like to resist all change. But change can be good, and change is needed, and sometimes, we need to take that jump off of a cliff and develop our wings on the way down. Here’s to having the courage to start over and learn to fly in 2016.
To Work On:
- Be more unplugged, but become better at communication. This includes not being afraid to trust people, and to put more into a relationship than perhaps is given back. Only if it’s right. Trust yourself. And learn to be okay with this.
- Do something to help others every month. “Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you.” ~ David Nichols
- Try to believe that you are beautiful, even if everything inside you conspires to tell you that you’re not.
- Learn to let people or the idea of a person – go. Do not swallow a person’s (or your own) lies in order to maintain your “faultless” image of a person.